Broken feeling, Broken night

It's really look I'm a big idiot, am I not?
It was me who made the decision. It was me who prepare everything.
...and it was me who sent you away.

There would actually be no reason for crying over it.
But why my heart is trembling as it's going to fall apart.

I cannot think about anything but you right now.
My tears're endlessly rolling down.
I do not know about anything anymore.
I feel powerless that I could not give you shelter.

Every unfavorable feelings happens to come in mind while you are not here to comfort me.
I feel unsecured.
It's like my emptiness that once was fulfilled by you are taken away.
I really can not do anything.
Only I keep telling my self,
"it's ok,
it's gonna be ok,
it's alright,
it's gonna be alright,
it's just for a while,
...and we'll be back together again"

That's what my broken heart in the broken night cry for.
I know this will never be able to reach you nor you will understand it.
Anyway I just want to breath out.

when BB vs. IPhone vs. Android

credit to sanook.com

I made Pizzas

During my semester break right now, i can say i have tons of free time to spend.
After i figured it out somehow, i started finding a job therefore i could save money and buy something i want, and i'm not a crying baby anymore i couldn't ask mom and dad to buy it.

Unfortunately, it wasn't my fate to work during the time, so i couldn't find any job TT__TT

However, if you were a good child, no one would abandon you.
God will always watch over you and give you the bless

Sooooo (it's a climax now) i've found something i could spend my free time for...

It's is a cooking course which is arranged by gov organization offers for everyone who's unemployed!!! me!!!

Actually all i would like to present is... what i've done in the class :D

Exam is OVER

How do you feel today, honey?
>> Well, I'm released and yet disappointed.

I see, you were seemed to have good time and bad time.
>> Yes, I did. Today is the last day of final examination,
I no need to screw up with it anymore.

And why do you look uphappy?
>> Because I couldn't answer the exam questions!!!
Dang dang dang :3

=^*o*^=

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Thinking disorder part 1

Time rapidly pass as swift tide reminds me about some quote; "Time and tide wait for no man"
It's about time for final exam again, I haven't gotten into my study mode yet, I mean exam revision. I don't know why, and I don't know why I always have to know the reason behind every single thought of mine.

There's a lot of things spinning in my head right now. I wonder why...?
Or perhaps I am thinking too much :D Seriously I really exercise my mind about a countless things.

This is my diary, isn't it? yes, I think so. I got some idea from reading the new books I had just bought; "Diary of a Wimpy kid", it's quite a good book. Before I bought it, I was so hesitated whether it's a book for kids or not, anyway I already bought it. (again I spent money without cognition) The book itself named "Diary" but the story say that it's a journal! OK I don't get it, what I was thinking was what differentiate Diary and Journal?

Now I found it! this is one of those things that is spinning in my head, I will never know what is it till I write it down and that make my story so mess up because of thinking disordered.

Ps. If you don't understand what's it over there, you have no need to be anxious, your reading skill is still fine, it's just my way of writing and thinking that are messed up.

Futsal at night

I shall begin with "I really never imagined that I would have chance to do something like this" what's this? Playing futsal at night! Even though how much I like it but I can't let my mom know about this, hahaha
Check this out, some photos from my phone's camera, too bad that it's not clear at all

The court is somewhere in Subang

The players consist of me, Jeff, Syak and her friends

Our Gatekeeper

Jeff was only one still working, lek lu Jeff :D

Actually we'er having fun, Syakira's really good at playing it. I barely touched the ball because I don't know how to play. The scores were 3-1, of course Syakira team won 3, and my team might score better if i wasn't there keep blocking their way :'(
Anyway, it was fun, thanks to Syakira who invite me and Jeff who fetch me there.

what about now

I haven't undated it for long time. I was kinda busy? no, not really, I just feel like I have nothing special enough till I need to make some memerable post for it

Today I just came back from Bangi, I found it was a nice place if I want to relax and get myself out of city's mess. Unfortunately, I made some mistake, the mistake which would make me not be able to go back there again.
Ok, I don't know it's really my fault or not. But I feel guilty about it anyway, just because my coming there, look likes it sets up everything. Everybody try telling me that "It's not your fault, don't be sad" or "It's done" or "It's gonna be alright, don't worry", bla bla bla... I know myself that I didn't think or worry that much about the problem,

But the thing I've kept thinking till now is "when you have someone who are precious to you, do not hesitate to treasure them as much as you can otherwise you would learn how painful of loneliness when you are left behind ...and alone" Damnit, I hate this kind of feeling, I don't wanna emo here, It CAN'T be helped.

I just wanna tell you that...
WAKE UP
Think about reality
This world is so wide, much wider than you think
You are already old enough to be adult, don't think everything will be at your side ALWAYS, you must be stronger than this to be able to satnd in this world,
If you can't, JUST GO HOME,
go to see your mommy and papeeee...
Poor girl, you'll never know you time is so short

Only today that everybody coddle,
Tomorrow you would be just fledgling with noone

Our new member!

This guy's name Lal-la, i named him myself. It's happened yesterday when i came back from Syakira's house. My housemate asked me to let him stay in my room for a few days till we can find him a new home.

But he's sooooo cute! and he likes to bite :D

Once I was down

While i was doing the assignment, no one couldn't be help but depressed, my cousin (thanks to him) gave me the url of the song which gave me the courage right there.

And now I wanna share it to you!



When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up: To more than I can be.

You raise me up by Celtic woman.


Whenever you're down, there're still two things you should never forget,
You have family who always support you whatever happens,
and There's your God, just pray and pray and pray...

Indeterminateness

hehehehe it's look like the atmophere today was filled with happiness and sadness together, how could it be?

Then I shall begin with the good thing first,right? good news for today is "I GOT IT" hahaha my Golden half camera! It's a camera that be able to shoot two shot in one photo, side by sides, which means you take 24 exposures you'll get 48 photo! cool!? yeah that's cool enough for who never get her own camera like me! ^^" ...i lovn't...

Here's mine...


It's come together with a cute box



Inside the box, it's a camera, it's called Chelsea Maika edition (name of Japanease star, but it don't know her anyway)



A naive photo taker (i'm dare not to say i'm a photographer >__<)


I did take many photo today, but since this camera is using film so i have to develop these photo first, i'm posting it next time.


Well, i almost forget -*- about my sadness is I spent money on nonsense thing again T__T I really hate this, like hell, even though I like it but in any other views (especially from money seeker =.= my parents) though i didn't tell them about this, but I can't be help not to feel guilty for using thier money in order to satisfy myself *sigh what should I do!?

I really don't know if I'm breach of trust.

Heart Beat

I haven't updated the blog for quite a long time, oh amonth has passed. I started to write it since last year *sigh* maybe it's because I'm not really know what i should begin with.

January, first month of the year's gone, time always run so fast for someone who live in the past, sound likes i'm broken heart hahaha. I don't know, sorry that i'm emote again, my mind is being overtired but my heart is insanely beating as I am listening to it.



Can we stop our heart from beating?
I asked myself.

Absolutely not, haha how silly Leela, if we could do that, it might be very easy for human to perish. Now I know how frail of life... and my mind

According to medically fact anatomy, there are two type of muscle in human's body, first is voluntary and involuntary. So we can't command our heart to stop beating due the fact that Cardiac muscle is involuntary type. (Hehe really wanne be a doctor)


Hope I could find the way out of damn labyrinth soon \(^3^)/